Diary of a First Time Mom

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The Ongoing Battle Between Moms

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 02:24:00 +0000

The other day when I went to the library I picked up Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career Moms Face Off on Their Choices, Their Lives, Their Families by Leslie Morgan Steiner. It's a pretty quick read because it has essays from numerous women regarding their choice to stay home or work part-time/full-time with their kids. The title of the book is pretty appropriate because there can sometimes be a level of tension (albeit a small one) between working and non-working moms. The conversations usually between the two typically includes the stay at home mom asking the working mom if she feels guilty and the working mom asking asking the stay at home mom if she feels bored. But as I continued reading the book I realized that these questions are really meant for the middle class and above social circles. Honestly, if you have to work those questions simply do not exist.

Another point of the book which I found particularly interesting was this notion if you are a stay-at-home mom you are the only care giver with no outside help needed, which can be further from the truth. We all need that grandma, sister, brother, or day care worker who can lend a helping hand from time to time. After all, support for raising children is a pretty ancient tradition, hence family compounds and the need to live close to relatives.

One common thread throughout the book, regardless of the mother's choice they all unanimously agreed that motherhood changes your life. You have to be selective of what you put on your plate. From the stay-at-home mother who spends more time volunteering than spending time with her bambinoes to the corporate working mom who is too driven to have dinner with her kids, we all need to strike a balance.

What's your take? Could you be a stay-at-home or are you happy with a 9 to 5?

I must admit, staying at home seems more and more appealing and I found myself daydreaming of museum trips throughout the day, walks in the park and just a quieter life. That's probably why my favorite blogs of the moment are from stay-at-home crafty moms. I guess I'm sneaking a peak of what that world is. Could I be slowly drifting over from the pencil skirt and stilletto crew to the snazzy strollers and crocs crew?

Bikes

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 03:30:00 +0000

It's that time of year when we see the stationwagons, SUVs and in-betweens on the interstate with a trio or quartet of bikes on the fendor. I never fully appreciated a family of bicycles until recently. With so many choices to choose from, it's quite easy to be cycling enthusiast. Just in case you're not ready to plunk down $800 on a road bike, I have the perfect alternative for you moms out there who may not want to be the next Armstrong, but may just want to be able to ride with your kiddos or perhaps to go to the local grocery store for some staples. The Linus bike provides you with chic French image without the St. Bart's price. The price of their bikes start at $385. Not too shabby. No not at all.

Now when you own a bike like this, it will also make it imperative for your kiddo to be equally as cute. I'm loving the wooden trike from Plan A.

Got Skills?

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 18:23:00 +0000

I think each of us has an alter ego, or perhaps a person we aspire to become. I've noticed of late I would really like to be that "cool" chic. Trust me, my definition of a cool chic has changed over the years. A cool chic in middle school was a girl who had the latest fashion and always seemed comfortable in her skin. My interpetation of cool has morphed a bit over the years, yet still includes that criteria of finding peace in being who she is, but has grown to include one who can make the mundane interesting if not glam, on a shoe-string budget. That person who could whip up a Carolina Herrera inspired dress for that wedding in two weeks, rather than scouring the mall for the perfect dress. Or that woman who can take a desolate backyard and design a romantic garden.

I guess I'm on a quest to build those skills. The quest to roll up my sleeves and develop skills that's pertinent to survial. I'm not saying I'm going to be a homesteader with chickens and pigs running around in my backyard, nor am I going to grow all of my vegetables, but I would like to have that common ground and as of late have found digging around in the soil a soothing conrast to the stressful demands of the world around us. Maybe its in my genetic make-up to be a lady gardener/seamstress or maybe its the wave of the future. Could it be in this microwave, tech savvy, gadget lusting society we are now welcoming the slower activities of life? We don't have to look far to find recipes for slow cooking meals, homesteading, and sewing clubs. Are we in fact returning to whence we came? Yo no se. But what I do know is that I for one don't particularly mind reflecting the slow, contemplative lifestyles of the Waltons, when everything wasn't done in a haste but in due time and with skill.

My Two Favorite Library Books

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 23:40:00 +0000

I picked up these two books a couple of days from the library. Great reads. I like the Barry Moser's Psalm 23 because its nicley illustrated and a good way for Sweet Pea to learn the scriptures. I also loved Nikki Giovanni's and Chris Rashka's, The Grasshopper's Song: An Aesop Tale Revisited because it sends an important message of the value of art. In fact, I continued reading it long after Sweet Pea fell asleep. I hope you'll give them a try.

Ready for Some Spring Gardening

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 23:57:00 +0000

As you probably have already noticed, I'm not much of a winter person. I welcome Spring and am ecstatic about summer. This year I'm especially excited because I just purchased a bunch of seeds from Botanical Interests (www.botanicalinterests.com). If you haven't checked out their online catalog, you got to stop by to get inspired. I ordered a bunch of different types of pansies but there are also unique flowers such as Sunflower Evening Sun to choose from on their web page.

Above is a pic of my beloved hydrangea from last summer. One more month of winter and spring will soon be here. Grab your seeds!

Goodbye Natural Hair... For Now

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 20:08:00 +0000

Dear Natural Hair,

You have been there from the start of my motherhood journal. In fact, it was shortly after I cut off every strand of my permed hair, I found out about the soon-to-be birth of our first child. You were there when I went into labor and my Sweet Pea only knows mama with a puffy twist out, cornrows, braided extensions or an afro. But as Sweet Pea approaches her second birthday, I realize I need a new do. A sleek bob that can only come from .. alas a perm. That's right, my dear friend, I am saying good-bye to you ... for now. I will miss working out and not having to worry about curls or stepping into the rain and not worrying about my perm going bad. Add to that going swimming and not having to time it with the next relaxer or the cost of hair appointments. I will definitely miss being mesmerized by the curl pattern of kinky hair, how it is so unpredictable and spontaneous in nature. But as much as I will miss all of that, I miss that image I've had for much of my life with a bouncy bob or a short sassy pixie.

Perhaps our paths will cross again. Better yet you know we will meet again. This is my third time going on this journey with you. Until another 2 or 5 or even 10 years, stay beautiful and true.

In Afro Chicness,

Christine

Happy Birthday to My Favorite Woman

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 23:08:00 +0000

You became my safe space thirty-one years ago
In your arms you nurtured my soul
And laid the foundation for me to soar away
But over the years
I have found I return to my safe space in you
Whether it's a phone call in the middle of the day
To hear your voice
Or crying out to you concerning the frustrations of life
I can always depend on my safe space
To be there to not only offer a warm embrace
But to provide the truth that can sometimes hurt

When people meet me for the first time
They usually say I have your smile
In which I graciously tell my thanks
But I hope one day, I'll have your wisdom,
Selflessness, and your strength in the midst
Of a harsh world
For it can take me far

Thank you mom for your dedication
In our lives
And for providing us with an example
Of a virtuous woman
Who rose early to sew Easter dresses
Who took on various jobs to provide for her family
Who created a warm loving home
Who found creative ways to spend time
With us even if it was a trip alone with you to Pantry Pride or Xtra
Who gave me the love for praise and worship music
And above all covered her family in prayer
Thank you for being my safe space

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Tropical Girl To The Heart

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 00:51:00 +0000

There comes a time when one has to be honest with themselves. I realized this past winter break that snow is overrated and so are the four seasons. As much as I love autumn in New York and daffodils in spring...I'm a tropical girl. Give me a glass of cool lemonade in December and Christmas lights on palm trees. I know these images sound crazy for most of the country, but sometimes familiarity is quite comforting.

The pictures above were taken by yours truly. South Florida in December.

Recommended Books

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 02:52:00 +0000

I recently checked out The Hat That Wore Clara B by Melanie Turner-Denstaedt and illustrated by Frank Morrison from the library. I included the summary below. Although it can be a lengthy book for a toddler, it kept Sweet Pea's attention.

When all the ladies wear their hats to church, Clara B. wants her grandmother's. Even though it is too big for her, she is determined to find a way to wear it. They all go to the grandmother's house for lunch and she is able to find a way to put it on her head. All does not go well and it gets messed up. In the end, grandma buys Clara B a hat that matches her own. This is a picture book story that offers lessons in creative problem solving, accepting consequences, and love.

For Nostalgia's Sake

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 05:02:00 +0000

If you ever wondered what you were going to do with your baby's coming home outfit or christening gown, Darcy Miller has a great idea that was featured in Martha Stewart's Living Magazine this month. Shadowboxes!

I love this idea because it is perfectly doable and grouped together will be an ideal piece of art in your home as you cherish the very fabric of your growing family.

She simply mounted the dress with straight pins and double-sided foam tape and voila...the ooh's and ah's will surely begin.

Give to Haiti

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 04:21:00 +0000

Yele is a nonprofit Wyclef Jean started to aid in the development of Haiti. It's a great foundation to donate considering the devastating affect of the earthquake which has killed thousands of individuals in the country.

Would you donate? Even $5, or the equivalent of a cup of Starbucks coffee, can go a long way during this time.

For more information on Yele visit the website at http://www.yele.org.

Embroidery That Stands Out In The Crowd

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 04:59:00 +0000

I wouldn't mind adding this design on a handbag or T-Shirt. Jenny Hart of Sublime Stitching provides unique embroidery pictures like the one above at around $5.

It's Really the Little Things

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 02:24:00 +0000

Children laughing hysterically...
My sister's pink Coach bag...
The first ice-cream cone of the summer...
And of course Revlon's Kiss Me Coral nail polish has me smiling throughout the day.

Now I understand why some women never skip on the manis and pedis. It just creates a polished look that shows you took that extra step.

And if you can't make it to your neighborhood spa, try creating your own retreat at home. Brown sugar, olive oil, and your favorite scented oil (try lavender or coconut) serves as a scrub good enough to package.

Sewing Crush

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 03:34:00 +0000

I longingly read sewing blogs, wondering oh how long will it take for me to make my very own clothes. Although, I really shouldn't beat myself up too much, I have after all sewed an apron, three Christmas stockings, and oh yeah a stuffed giraffe with missing eyes. Then there was that top for Sweet Pea that was too shabby to be worn beyond the front door. Oh yeah, I also masterfully sewed three cute bags for my nieces. But one day, I will be one of those that can say, "Oh I whipped this up a couple hours I ago. I just love how the duponi silk feels against my skin!" Until then, I will continue to figure it out, bribe other seamsters to show me the secret to craft, and practice, practice, practice.

Transitioning From Nursery to Pre-School...

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 02:11:00 +0000

...In the home of course.

I remember before Sweet Pea arrived, I made certain she had the best crib, bedding, toys that my resources could afford. But the preparation I made couldn't keep pace with this bouncing bundle of joy that kept me on my toes. Her interests went from buttons to pots and pans. Then from crawling around on the floor to running around the house. As our children evolve, their space needs to evolve as well. Below I offered some tips for your own pre-school at home.

1. Find a comfortable toddler table and chair. I like the Montessori ones like the one above because it really helps toddlers learn how to sit upright.

2. Create a writing center. A nook in the room can serve as writing center. You can have a basket full of paper, crayons, pencils to allow your sweetie to let their thoughts and imagination flow. I'm reading Growing Up Writing by Linda Leonard Lamme, PhD (my new BFF) and she recommends having a place for kids to sit and write as well as vertically write. If you don't want your children to mess up that nice coat of Sherwin Williams, try tacking up a big sheet of butcher paper on the wall.

3. Bring in some green. Plants are a great way to add life to any room and help children learn how to nurture something outside of themselves. Just be certain that they are not poisonous.

4. Alphabets, shapes, numbers, colors, and your child's name. Have all of these in constant view. If you don't want to buy the same posters your teachers put on the wall in the 80's, make your own. Use buttons to make a number chart and then frame it. Or try cutting different shapes out of varying colors to teach colors and shapes.

5. A reading corner. Nothing makes me more proud than when I see Sweet Pea pull out a book and read. Buy plenty of books and keep them in a bin so that your children can easily locate them.

If you have any other tips, I'll love to hear them.

A Touch of the Wild Side

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 01:57:00 +0000

I'm not sure if its the cold weather or me wanting a bit more exotic decor in my home, but I'm digging a cowhide rug. It's an unexpected touch visually and on the soles of your feet. Wouldn't you say?

The pictures above stem from the West Elm website.

Slow and Steady Get Me Ready

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 03:53:00 +0000

I've heard rave reviews about Slow and Steady Get Me Ready by June R. Oberlander. It includes a great deal of activities for Pre-K youngsters. I'll let you know how it works for moi.

Now I Know My ABC's....

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 07:23:00 +0000

Let's face it, we all want our children to be prepared for the first day of school. Among many areas we would like our sweeties to master, their alphabets are definitely one of them. Admittedly, I don't want just want any old kind of poster up on the wall, I kind of want a poster or decals that goes with her room's decor. So, I offer you the one above to check out at Eebo. com and also the Martha Stewart vintage inspired alphabet cards at Michael's. Which ones are your favorites?

For Christmas Trees Who Have Contemplated Not Showing ...

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 01:40:00 +0000

...Their Full Glory Because Little Hands Are Too Much.

Am I the only one who has gradually kept all my decorations at the top of the tree, away from little hands?

A great alternative is felt garland, which can easily be made by following this tutorial on www.purlbee.com or purchased from Made by Mary on Etsy.com.

One of my goals for the new year is to spend less and make more. I recently sewed some stockings and a tote bag, which I stayed up til early in the morning (I'm new to crafting and sewing), but there was so much love in each stitch. Besides, the process of purchasing "ingredients" rather than running out to buy a pre-made and pre-packaged present cannot be compared. In a world where the closest homemade item may very well may be dinner on Sundays, a homemade gift goes a long way.

Question for you, how many homemade gifts did you create this year? How was your experience?

Stocking Stuffers: Day Seven

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 03:35:00 +0000

Give the gift of a healthy smile.

Electric toothbrushes are one of the best inventions. Not only does it ensure that you brush your teeth for the allotted time of two minutes, it also provides your teeth with the correct circular motion at the ideal pressure. Why not let your kiddies join in on the fun?

Stocking Stuffers: Day Six

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 03:29:00 +0000

Give the gift of writing.

Encourage your child to not only write but to value words by putting their thoughts in a journal. My sister presented me with a diary at the tender age of nine and I still have it have filled countless other journals. Who knows where that one journal for that one child may lead?

Stocking Stuffers: Day Five

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 01:44:00 +0000

I love these knitted veggie and fruit rattles. What better way for your sweeties to learn the names of their fruits and vegetables, without it attracting fruit flies. An adorable site, cocoacrayon.com has a collection of them.

Stocking Stuffers: Day Four

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 01:55:00 +0000

Give the gift of fruit.

I don't know too many people who will pass up a plump, juicy clemetine that's loaded with Vitamin C. It's also very easy for children to feed themselves with because their little hands can peel the skin and eat the inside. Plus for $6.99 you can get a box of them from Trader Joe's. A nice addition to any stocking. Hopefully it won't pale beside the sugar cookies and candy canes.

Stocking Stuffers: Day Three

noreply@blogger.com (christine mills) — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 16:53:00 +0000

Give the gift of school supplies to a young child that you may not know.

How it works? Visit www.oxfamamericaunwrapped.com and for as little as $18 you can feed a family, provide school supplies, and much more. Or check out www.heifer.org for more options. Christmas is a great time to teach our children about the true spirit of Christmas which is love.